Going through a divorce is undeniably one of life’s most challenging and emotionally turbulent experiences. It is a time when individuals are navigating the complexities of ending a once-cherished relationship, and they often find themselves grappling with feelings of loss, sadness, and uncertainty about the future.
As a friend, you have a crucial role to play in providing support and helping them navigate this difficult chapter in their lives. During this period, they will especially need your help and supportive things to say.
1. Listen carefully and provide a comfortable space to express your feelings
- Create a judgment-free zone and make it clear that your friend’s feelings are completely natural. If your friend wants to talk about their situation, give them your full attention.
- Avoid offering unsolicited advice and instead focus on being an empathetic listener. Encourage open communication and make it clear that you can be trusted.
- Recognize the importance of your friend’s feelings. The following phrases are suitable for this: “I understand why you feel this way” or “It’s normal to have mixed emotions.”
- Express your support to your friend during this difficult time in his or her life, and you will help him or her file for divorce without an attorney.
2. Help with daily tasks such as cooking or childcare
Prepare a nutritious dinner or meal for your friend that he or she can easily reheat. This way, you can make their life easier.
If your friend has children, offer babysitting services or help with childcare, picking them up from school or extracurricular activities. This will give your loved one some much-needed time to focus on themselves and their emotions.
Run everyday errands, such as doing the grocery shopping or taking clothes to the dry cleaners. These small acts of help will make a big difference to your friend.
Offering practical help with daily tasks will not only provide tangible support but also give your friend the space they need during this difficult time.
3. Respect privacy and avoid spreading gossip or discussing details of the divorce
During this difficult time, it is important to respect your friend’s privacy. Don’t share personal information or details about their divorce without their permission.
Refrain from gossiping and resist the temptation to discuss the situation with mutual friends or acquaintances. Gossip can add unnecessary stress and further isolate your friend from society. This also applies to social media posts, as sharing information can potentially cause harm.
By respecting your friend’s privacy and refraining from spreading gossip or discussing the details of the divorce, you are giving them an additional opportunity to recover quickly. Your behavior will have a significant impact on how much your friend feels supported by you during this difficult time.
4. Encourage a good lifestyle and healthy habits
Encourage your friend to maintain a healthy lifestyle, such as regular exercise, psychotherapy sessions, or joining support groups. During the emotional turmoil of a divorce, your friend should prioritize his or her own well-being. Your words of support and help will give them the strength to go through this difficult journey.
5. Avoid judgment and do not take sides in any conflicts that arise as a result of the divorce
Remain neutral and try not to take sides or give your own judgment about the divorce. This will create additional tension and worsen your relationship in the future.
Encourage open communication without expressing preconceived notions. Allow your spouse to freely express their feelings and emotions and be ready to listen to them at all times. Sympathize, not criticize. The following phrases are suitable for this: “I understand why it’s so hard for you” or “It must be difficult for you to go through this situation right now.” By avoiding judgment and not taking sides, you demonstrate your unconditional support. Your words for someone going through a hard time will help to ease the emotional burden they may be carrying a little bit, allowing them to feel heard and understood.
6. Offer to accompany them to negotiations or court hearings, if necessary
Provide your friends with emotional support during court hearings and offer to accompany them to divorce-related meetings. Having a loved one by your side will provide comfort and reassurance during emotionally charged situations. Remind your friends that you are there for them, and be ready to listen and support them if they are overwhelmed by emotions about the divorce.
If your friend is unfamiliar with the legal procedures involved in a divorce, offer to help them research the steps they need to take.
“Life is 10% what happens to you and 90% how you react to it.”
Charles R. Swindoll
7. Be patient and understanding with your friend
Be patient; recovering from a divorce is a process that takes time. Be patient with your friend and allow them to process their emotions at their own pace. Recognize that there may be setbacks along the way, and support your friend if they experience moments of sadness or frustration. Choose the right words of support: “You’re doing an incredible job during this difficult time” or “I’m proud of you for taking steps toward healing.”
Remind your friends how far they have come at this point and how strong they are to face these challenges. By showing patience, understanding, and support, you will help your friend on the road to healing after divorce. Remember that everyone heals at their own pace, so unwavering support will make a big difference in the recovery process.
8. Be sensitive to your friend’s emotions
Let your friend know that it is normal to experience a variety of emotions during the divorce process. Explain that his emotions are natural, and he has every right to be sad, angry, or overwhelmed. Reassure them that you are always there to support them through the ups and downs.
Encourage your friend to take care of themselves, and remind them of the importance of taking care of their emotional and physical well-being. Encourage him to exercise, keep a diary, attend psychotherapy sessions, or spend time with loved ones.
Here are some phrases you can say to him: “I can only imagine how hard this is for you right now,” “It’s only natural to feel [insert emotion],” “Remember that healing takes time, so give yourself permission to experience these emotions. Your words of support will serve as an anchor and help navigate the complexities of divorce while promoting emotional healing along the way.
Continue to engage your friends in social activities and outings, even if they decline. This demonstrates that you value their company. Recognize that attending social events can be difficult for someone going through a divorce. Offer your condolences and support without forcing them to attend.
Understand that your friend may need time to be alone or may prefer a more intimate and personalized experience. Respecting these boundaries will help create a safe space during this vulnerable time.
By involving your friend in social activities and respecting their willingness to be present, you are recognizing and validating the complex emotions of a woman going through divorce.
10. Be there for them
Be consistent in your support by checking in with your friend regularly, letting him or her know that you are there for them throughout the divorce process. Your friend may be going through a range of emotions and may not always have the energy or desire to reach out for support. By taking the initiative, you will demonstrate that you care about them and are ready to provide your support when needed.
Offer specific help. Instead of asking, “How can I help?” offer specifics. For example, say: “I’m free this weekend, would you like me to come over and help you prepare your paperwork?” or “I can do the shopping for you.”
When a friend talks about his or her feelings or experiences related to the divorce, listen carefully without judging his or her choices or decisions.