At 66, my partner and I have only done oral — until now

Welcome to How I Do It, the series in which we give you a seven-day sneak peek into the sex life of a stranger.

This week we hear from Angela*, a 66-year-old retired saleswoman who, up until recently, had gone without sex for nearly 30 years.

Angela, from Gloucestershire, left a loveless marriage in 2005, after her ex ‘destroyed’ her self-confidence, making her lose interest in a physical connection.

She says: ‘We stayed married because of our three kids… but it was soul destroying to know my husband preferred to please himself with a handy box of tissues, than have sex with me.

‘I concluded I must be really ugly, unattractive… you name it, I had every paranoia going by the time we split up.’

Angela was in her late 40s at this point and thought ‘no one would be interested’ in her. However, after meeting the landlord of her local pub, Brian, four months ago, she’s discovered a ‘new zest for life’ – and for sex.

‘He was a couple of years younger than me and recently divorced. He made it no secret that he fancied me, but I was desperate to keep him at arms’ length. After all, I am now 66,’ Angela says.

But after a tipsy encounter, Angela let her guard down. Now, she and Brian are having sex about four times a week on average, although they’ve not been able to have penetrative intercourse because he struggles with erectile dysfunction.

Angela says: ‘We have the most amazing sex life. It makes all the difference when you know someone really loves you – warts and all. I can say – and do – anything with him without any embarrassment.

‘All my insecurities have gone and I feel I’ve come alive again. Nobody would have a clue if you looked at us; a couple in their 60s! But I’ve learned you’re never too old – and we are certainly making up for lost time.’

And now, for the first time, penetrative sex is on the cards, as Brian gets the go-ahead to take Viagra.

Without further ado, here’s how Angela got on this week…

The following sex diary is, as you might imagine, not safe for work.

Monday

Brian and I don’t live together and, when we first started dating, my idea was that we would spend the weekends together – and maybe an odd night in the week.

Having lived alone for nearly 30 years, I made it quite clear at the outset that he shouldn’t expect to move in!

But I’ve surprised myself by how often Brian sleeps at my place. His job means he works shifts, often finishing quite late, but I’ve given him a door key and I’m thrilled when he slides into bed beside me – however late it is.

He stays at least five nights now and tonight he’s working, so I pop down to the pub for a few hours. I have a few drinks until the bar closes and we head home together.

Brian is tired but still in the mood for a cuddle… which inevitably leads to sex. But not in the conventional sense.

It was pretty apparent early on that Brian had problems getting an erection, so penetrative sex has always been a bit of a no-no. We’ve had to be content with oral sex or mutual masturbation. Despite his erectile dysfunction, Brian has no problem reaching orgasm, and it turns me on to know I’m able to please him.

Tuesday

Brian’s snoring is loud enough to wake the dead but I’m prepared to put up with it, rather than sleep alone. I have friends who couldn’t think of anything worse – some have even reached the twin beds stage!

I guess it’s early days for us. I’m living for the moment and loving every minute of it.

Tuesday morning means work for him and the gym for me. I’ve never been a gym bunny but I know I’m not very fit, so I need to up my game if I want to live to a ripe old age.

I’ve become very conscious of my own mortality since turning 60. There’s so much more I want to pack into the years I have left – especially now I’m having this much fun!

I’m on a charity committee this evening, so Brian gets the night off and a chance to sleep in his own bed. Mine feels strangely empty without him and I’m not sure I like it.

Wednesday

I’m retired now so have I the luxury of a lie in pretty much whenever I want. Brian is not so lucky – but he doesn’t work on a Wednesday, so a lazy morning in bed has become the norm for us.

Like many men, he’s also up for some action in a morning so we soon get down to business with a bit of soixante-neuf (oral sex).

I’ve never met a man who is such a selfless and capable lover. He knows exactly where to touch me and how to touch me, with just the right amount of pressure. He gives me multiple orgasms!

After showering (separately – sadly, it’s not big enough for both of us), we head out to a local cafe for brunch and sit looking doe-eyed like a pair of teenagers.

In the afternoon, we go for a nice long walk in the nearby country park – arm in arm, naturally. We pause for the occasional snog. I’m still in shock at how I can’t keep my hands off him.

I love cooking, so in the evening, I leave him watching TV while I rustle up a quick curry. We share a bottle of wine and snuggle up on the sofa – and before long, he’s unhooking my bra and peeling off my clothes.

I’ve never been fond of my ‘lady bits’ but Brian loves to go down on me and he very quickly makes me come. Then I repay the favour. We head off to bed and soon fall asleep, happy and content, wrapped up in each other’s arms.

Thursday

It’s a big day for us. Brian has had high blood pressure as long as I’ve known him, and his GP categorically said he mustn’t take Viagra or anything similar until it came down.

It’s frustrating for us both – but, of course, it’s better than having a heart attack.

Today it’s come down so – yay! We have the green light to try the little blue pill. Just the prospect of it gets me horny. It’s been a long time coming.

His doc explains the dos and don’ts of taking Viagra. No alcohol, take it an hour before… It all sounds a bit prescriptive. Are we going to have to plan full sex from now on?

Brian comes away with six little blue pills. Well, they aren’t going to last long, I’m thinking.

What if it doesn’t work? It’s all quite exciting, if a bit unnerving, at the same time.

Apparently, they don’t work unless you actually have the urge – no problem in that department so far – and the effect can last four hours.

Does that mean we will be going at it for four hours? Or have sex umpteen times over? This is going to be a real voyage of discovery, but when?

After waiting all this time, we both want it to be right. He’s working tonight, so should we wait till tomorrow? Or are we so desperate we will just dive in, however late and knackered we are? Who knew sex could be this complicated?

I spend the afternoon with all these questions and more tumbling around in my head.

Frustratingly, Brian is tired after work and isn’t in the mood. He wants to wait until morning, so I reluctantly turn over and go to sleep.

Friday

I wake full of anticipation but it would appear Brian doesn’t feel the same way. He seems to be avoiding our usual morning cuddle and instead leaps out of bed, into the shower and before I know it, he’s dressed and off to work.

To say I’m disappointed is an understatement! After all this waiting, I had hoped he would be feeling the same. How wrong can you be? I feel quite deflated and lie in bed thinking things over.

Even when I get stuck into the housework and cooking our evening dinner, I find myself over-thinking things.

Eventually, I give myself a stern talking to; after all, this is new territory for the both of us and I guess it’s a bit weird for him having to schedule when he’s going to be fit for action.

This whole planning thing certainly takes away the element of spontaneity that we have enjoyed up to now – something Brian admits when he gets in from work.

Fortunately, we can talk about it – and even have a laugh. But he still doesn’t take the tablet, dammit! Another quiet night. *Sigh*.

Saturday

Brian brings me a cup of tea in bed. Finally, he pops a little blue pill and we giggle like a pair of naughty school kids.

He starts to fondle my breasts and, before long, we see the result we’ve both been waiting for. I’m so desperate to feel him inside me, I pull him on top of me and we kiss passionately.

It’s like neither of us has ever had sex before which, in a way, I guess we haven’t as it’s our first time together having penetrative sex.

I’m thrilled at how excited Brian is to be with me and it isn’t long before he comes. So much for the four hours, I say! I’m left feeling a bit frustrated but I reckon we will get better with practice, and I can’t wait till next time.

After he leaves for work, I have a sneaky bit of me time, something else I’ve rediscovered since meeting Brian. When I wasn’t having sex, I really wasn’t interested at all. Now I think about it all the time!

I spend the rest of the day thinking about Brian – and the sex – and as the hours tick by, I find myself feeling strangely disappointed. It isn’t that the sex wasn’t good, although it wasn’t brilliant, but I think we had both got over-excited at the prospect and the reality didn’t quite live up to it.

He reckons next time he won’t tell me when he’s going to take the tablet and just surprise me, warning with a crafty wink that he could take me over the kitchen table!

Sunday

Brian pops home this morning to get showered, changed and do a bit of paperwork. He’s only a 10-minute drive away, which is pretty handy.

We’ve been invited out by friends for Sunday lunch at theirs. We enjoy a Sunday roast and a bit of banter. Brian is used to making small talk because of his job but I can tell my friends are surprised at our partnership. I think they thought I would be single forever.

My staunchly single friends can’t imagine being with a significant other. But neither did I until four months ago. Now, I feel almost guilty for defecting to the dark side, but I can’t help it as I am so happy.

I feel like I’ve found something that’s been missing from my life for such a long time.

I reckon I’ve got the best of both worlds too. Someone who loves to be with me but is happy for me to live my own life, enjoy my many hobbies and go out with my mates, because he trusts me.

We leave our friends and head home early evening (I like it that Brian refers to my place as ‘home’) and around 10pm go to bed.

We don’t have sex tonight but our bodies lock together like pieces in a jigsaw and I fall asleep with a smile on my face thinking about that kitchen table…..

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