Barry Hawkins was at one of the lowest ebbs of his career 12 months ago, but is now happy to compliment himself in a way that he would have been ‘horrified’ to do in the past.
The Hawk failed to qualify for the Crucible last year, ending his run of consecutive visits to the Sheffield venue at 17.
It was a big shock for Hawkins to be beaten by Jak Jones in the final qualifying round and he says he was devastated by the loss and to be missing out on the main event of the World Championship.
‘I remember coming off, going back to the hotel and ringing my dad,’ Hawkins told Metro. ‘There was a few other things going on off the table but the way I played over the two days was terrible. Jak played a good match but I just wasn’t with it.
‘I told my dad I think it was the lowest I’ve ever been snooker-wise, maybe I was being a bit dramatic, but I was devastated. That was a low point.’
The summer break followed but things turned around shortly after that as Hawkins beat Judd Trump in the final of the European Masters in August.
‘It must have been a change in mindset after the Worlds, a bit more determined,’ he said. ‘It’s a shame you can’t bottle that feeling, Judd must have it somewhere, just goes and gets it when he wants.’
The 44-year-old may not be able to bottle the feeling he had at the start of the season, but he has built up an improved mindset over the years, finally believing that he is one of the best players in the world.
Outspoken self-belief does not come naturally to the Englishman, but he has slowly grown it over his long career.
‘I do feel like my belief has improved. I wouldn’t say this lightly either,’ he said. ‘But I do feel like I’m stronger mentally than I used to be.
‘It’s taken me a long time to really believe it, I know I can compete against the best now. In the past I would never have thought I’d say anything like that. I’d be horrified to say something like that years ago, I’d think it was big-headed, but I’ve got a bit of self-belief now.
‘You’ve got to keep believing and you never know what can happen. This year has been one of my most consistent seasons. I’ve played in every event, which I’ve never done before, every one other than the Shoot Out. As far as seasons go I can’t ask for much more.’
Hawkins faces Ryan Day in his Crucible opener this year, a player he has been taking on since his junior days and first met as a professional in World Championship qualifying 24 years ago.
Asked if he recalled their first meeting, it took a second but he got there and the match was illustrative of where he has had to build his self-belief from.
‘Was it the World and he battered me? Absolutely destroyed me! I remember now,’ Hawkins said. ‘Back then I thought, Jesus he goes for a lot of balls! So attacking. But back then I was only 20, I was very intimidated. Not much confidence in myself.
‘I remember it now, remember thinking you’ve got a lot to work on here, Baz. Mentally I just wasn’t good enough. Probably a good memory to have really.
‘It’s not come easy since then. I’ve worked with loads of different people, trying to nick things from them all and learn. Some people it comes naturally to, some people you have to graft. I feel like I’ve grafted.
‘It’s an ongoing thing, you can’t just think you’ve nailed it or something comes and bites you in the arse. I’m always trying to learn even at my age. I actually feel like I’m still improving.’
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