After struggling with work and being a new father, a reader explains how a video game helped him through a very difficult time in his life.
It’s something we see often from gamers. Their favourite hobby has helped them climb out of the depths of despair and got them back on the straight and narrow, which I can wholeheartedly attest to.
I’m coming up to the two year anniversary where I attempted to take my own life. I had just become a new father, I was back at work, life was overwhelming and it had just became too much. Thankfully, I did not go through with it, but I did take some much needed off work to recover mentally. During that time, God Of War Ragnarök came out.
I was so excited for this. God Of War is one of my favourite series, starting from the original in 2005. I grew up with the series and in a way, it grew up with me. I loved Greek mythology growing up, so this game was perfect for teenage me who loved nothing more than hitting big monsters with swords.
When the reboot was announced, I burst into tears when Kratos unleashed Spartan Rage on that poor troll. That’s how much I love that series. Little did I know how much it would affect me in the future.
What I love about the new games is the theme of father and son. While I loved Kratos’ and Artreus’ relationship in the first game, becoming a new dad myself made me see their connection from a different perspective. It made me want to drag myself out of the whole I’d dug, become a better father, one that my son could be proud of.
Kratos would follow Atreus blindly from one realm to the next, trusting him to make the right choice. He had grown from being cold towards his son, due to his own past still haunting him. I felt like this for a while.
I was never cold towards him; it was more at myself. Any time I looked at my son, I was wracked with guilt due to my attempt to take my life. There he was, happy, giggling and making noises while I was in tears.
As the weeks went on, I played the game to completion and made it my mission to be the father my son deserves. I spent more time with him, my love growing more and more and the guilt slowly fading. I felt I didn’t have to be sorry, but I could be better.
Time does make things easier, but I still struggle with the guilt sometimes, but when I look at my son and say ‘boy’ to him, just like Kratos, he giggles away and then says ‘Daddy funny!’ I have Kratos and Atreus to thank for that.
By reader GOW Fan
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