Elizabeth Heal had been with her husband for 25 years before he left her for a younger woman.
‘She was all the things that I wasn’t as a middle-aged woman. I wasn’t 19 anymore,’ she tells Metro. ‘The divorce was a bloody killer and my confidence was so low.’
The now 52-year-old, from Bristol, finalised her divorce in 2010. Single and alone, she signed herself up to a dating site for married men to try and meet new people.
Elizabeth had always struggled with her weight, and she’d ‘let it slip’ following the split, finding it it easier just to wallow in her upset and insecurity. Although she naturally dropped a few pounds as she went through menopause, but she still didn’t feel happy with her body.
Worries about her self-image later faded into the background when she met a married man in 2011, with whom she had a five-year relationship.
‘He saw me in the week and went home to his wife at the weekend. I knew about her but I don’t know whether she knew about me,’ Elizabeth says. ‘I was completely happy.’
Sadly, she suffered another heartbreak when he passed away in 2016. An ’emotional eater’ the mum-of-one noticed her weight creeping back up as she struggled to cope with the grief.
The catalyst for change was a hurtful comment from her son, who told her she looked ‘short and dumpy’. Elizabeth came to the realisation that if she wasn’t satisfied with what she saw in the mirror, her insecurities would prevent her from finding the love she craved.
Sign up to The Hook-Up, Metro’s sex and dating newsletter
Love reading juicy stories like this? Need some tips for how to spice things up in the bedroom?
Sign up to The Hook-Up and we’ll slide into your inbox every week with all the latest sex and dating stories from Metro. We can’t wait for you to join us!
This, coupled with a routine checkup at the hospital, where she was told she was pre-diabetic and she needed to lose weight, led her to try Saxenda.
A brand name for liraglutide, the weight loss injections control glucose to regulate calorie intake in a similar way to Ozempic (although Ozempic isn’t yet approved specifically for this purpose in the UK). While Saxenda is available on the NHS, Elizabeth paid for it privately, soon finding she had dropped to her ‘ideal’ size and could now to date confidently.
As part of her transformation, the mum’s energy levels improved too, and she now feels much healthier both mentally and physically.
‘I had done all the Weight Watchers and activities and a cabbage diet, but it had been a really hard slog,’ she explains.
‘But Saxenda made me shine and people began to say “you look better than you have” or “it’s taken years off”. ‘My confidence has been crazy out there. It’s really given me my life back.’
In the 14 years since her divorce, Elizabeth has met about 150 married men on Illicit Encounters, a dating site specifically for affairs, in search of the one.
‘I’m looking for a committed relationship, not marriage,’ she says. ‘This allows me to have a good time with none of the electricity bills and marital disagreements.’
As a former wife, and now the other woman, Elizabeth prefers men who are already married because they ‘cherish’ her more despite being less demanding of her time.
‘He’ll treat me well as he knows I could find another elsewhere, and I can treasure my independence knowing he’ll trot off home but have thoughts of me fresh in his mind,’ she adds.
Pharmacist Carolina Goncalves, for Pharmica, tells Metro: ‘Saxenda should never be used with the sole intention of improving one’s confidence and self-esteem. Individuals experiencing low confidence and self-esteem should consult a counsellor or other medical professional specialising in psychological health.
‘That being said, the weight loss medication is formulated specifically to help eligible individuals to reduce their weight, and some may associate this weight loss with improvements in confidence.’
For Elizabeth, one date in particular with a married man highlighted the changes she’d experienced.
‘I had always undersold myself,’ she says.
‘But my date saw me and said “it’s an absolute joy to meet an educated woman who takes care of herself”.
‘That was the moment that I thought “I’m doing the right thing” – it cemented it all. I was being noticed. It was making a difference. I was ticking boxes. And I wasn’t just increasing my own lifespan, I was increasing my love life chances.’
What is Saxenda?
Liraglutide (also called Saxenda) is a weight loss medicine that works by making you feel fuller and less hungry. It’s an injection to be taken once a day.
You can only take liraglutide if it’s prescribed to you by a specialist weight management service. A doctor might recommend that you take one of these medicines if diet and exercise changes have not worked on their own.
You’ll need to eat a balanced, reduced-calorie diet and exercise regularly while taking liraglutide.
It will only be prescribed if you meet the all the following criteria:
‘Purchasing Saxenda privately from online pharmacies typically costs between £50 and £80 per pen,’ Carolina explains. ‘However, Saxenda is currently out of stock at most online pharmacies and pharmaceutical wholesale distributors. As such, patients are turning to alternative GLP-1 medications such as Semaglutide (Wegovy, Ozempic) and Tirzepatide (Mounjaro).’
While weight loss drugs can have some pretty nasty side effects – including nausea, diarrhoea, constipation, vomiting, injection site reaction, low blood sugar, headaches, an upset stomach, fatigue, dizziness and tummy pain – Elizabeth hasn’t felt any of those.
That doesn’t mean all of her 150 dates have been quite as painless though. In fact, she recalls one instance where the man brought his wife with him to the bar.
The wife explained that as long as the woman her husband was sleeping with wasn’t as pretty as her, then it was fine. Elizabeth quickly realised being vetted wasn’t for her.
‘Another date brought his wedding album because he looked better in those photos,’ she says. ‘He said just to ignore the lady in white.’
A third man even told Elizabeth he had to be home by 9pm because his mother would get worried if he was out late.
Despite many meet-ups, the mum has only been intimate with four of the men she’s seen. Her boosted self-esteem has done wonders for her love life and libido alike, an she’s now in a happy six-month-long relationship with her married partner.
‘In my marriage there had been a natural decrease in intimacy, but in my sex life since I’ve found it nerve-wracking but amazing,’ Elizabeth says.
‘I’m certainly more confident in the bedroom. The lights can remain on and the dimmer switch is no longer my best friend. I like that.
‘I grew up believing I should be really grateful that anybody was even looking at me, but now I’ve gained confidence.’
Do you have a story to share?
Get in touch by emailing [email protected].
MORE : Map shows where heat health alerts are in place across the UK
MORE : Can bamboo bedding really keep you cooler than cotton in a heatwave?
MORE : How brain parasites could be used in treatment against Alzheimer’s and Parkinson’s
Sign up to our guide to what’s on in London, trusted reviews, brilliant offers and competitions. London’s best bits in your inbox
This site is protected by reCAPTCHA and the Google Privacy Policy and Terms of Service apply.