Halsey has revealed that she once suffered a miscarriage while on stage during a concert, before being ‘sick all night’.
The 29-year-old, who uses she/them pronouns, welcomed son Ender with ex-partner Alev Aydin, in 2021.
The Without Me singer previously revealed that they had been diagnosed with endometriosis, after battling painful symptoms for years.
During an appearance on the She MD podcast, they opened up about the devastating moment that they began lost their baby at the age of 20.
‘I miscarried during a concert,’ they told hosts Dr Thais Aliabadi and Mary Alice Haney. ‘I started miscarrying before the show. I knew and I was in a really tough position because it was really early on in my career, and there was a lot attached to the show.
‘There was a corporate partner, there was a greater media entity partner, but more importantly than that, to me, there was a thousand kids who waited all day long to get into this show and see me.
‘I ended up just putting on an adult diaper. They’d only asked me to perform 45 minutes, and I didn’t really have that much music out, to be honest with you, so I don’t know that I could have played longer.
‘I went and I did the show, I left stage, I threw up in the parking lot. I went to a hotel and I was sick all night. I remember sitting in the bathtub because I just didn’t know what to do with all the blood. And then waking up at 5 or 6 in the morning to get on another airplane to go to Canada.’
Halsey recalled ‘bleeding for hours’ and remaining in agony, because she wasn’t sure who she could speak to about what was happening.
‘At the time, the only stories about miscarriage that I had heard were from women who were happily married,’ she continued. ‘They, most of the time, would speak about it after they had successfully conceived and carried to term and been like, “So this happened before this.”
‘It was just a world of information that [wasn’t] accessible to me, I just felt so alone.’
The music icon explained that the video of their performance actually got uploaded to YouTube, sharing that they looked ‘like a different person’ watching it back.
‘You can go on YouTube and you can watch me miscarry through a concert,’ she said. ‘It’s funny because when I look at it now, I see myself just white and sweating, and my voice is different. My voice is guttural.
‘I sound and look like a different person.
Endometriosis
Endometriosis is a condition where uterine tissue similar to the lining of the womb grows elsewhere in the body, such as the ovaries and fallopian tubes.
According to the NHS, symptoms include:
- Pain in your lower tummy or back (pelvic pain) – usually worse during your period
- Period pain that stops you doing your normal activities
- Pain during or after sex
- Pain when peeing or pooing during your period
- Feeling sick, constipation, diarrhoea, or blood in your pee or poo during your period
- Difficulty getting pregnant
‘That was one miscarriage. I had two within the same year. I remember thinking to myself, “I’m just 20 years old. I should be able to carry a baby.” I didn’t want to be pregnant. I was way involved in my career.
‘I had a lot of complex feelings of relief, confusion, guilt and also grief. At the same time, I had a big, burning question in my mind: “Something must be wrong with me, because of all the times in my life where I should be able to conceive and carry to term, this is the age. What’s happening?”
She was eventually diagnosed with endometriosis, which can cause painful and heavy periods, painful sex and miscarriages.
According to the World Health Organization, the chronic condition – in which tissue similar to the lining of the uterus grows outside the uterus and causes severe pain and reproductive complications – occurs in roughly 10% of people worldwide.
Halsey first mentioned her condition in 2016, sharing that she had been misdiagnosed for years before Dr Thais was able to help.
In 2018, she shed light on her symptoms while appearing at the Endometriosis Foundation of America’s Blossom Ball.
Accepting the annual Blossom Award, she told the crowd: ‘I can’t pretend that just because I’m a pop artist and I’m touring, that everything’s perfect and everything’s all good and my skin’s always great and I’m always fit and my outfits are always perfect.
‘Sometimes I’m bloated, I’m on an IV, I’m sick, I’m on medicine, and I’m backstage, terrified that I’m going to bleed through my clothes in the middle of my show.
‘That’s the reality of it.’
Sands UK charity
Sands UK is a stillbirth and neonatal death charity, which works to reduce the number of babies dying and to ensure that those affected by the loss of a baby receives the best possible care for as long as they need it.
The charity aims to better understand the causes of baby deaths and works with governments and other organisations to raise awareness of issues surrounding baby loss.
Sands provides bereavement support at a local and national level.
Please visit the Sands UK website for more information and contact details.
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