Not even a month postpartum with her second child, Hannah Hiatt filmed herself retrieving the 17 soiled nappies strewn around her house after a day of solo parenting.
Exhausted and with her kids finally in bed, she found four on the coffee table, one behind the sofa, two more in the hallway, three on the landing and seven by her bed.
That’s motherhood for you, she seemed to suggest. But, after sharing her video on TikTok, Hannah found herself in a firestorm, with many of the 6.7 million viewers branding her ‘nasty’, ‘unsanitary’ and ‘absolutely not relatable’.
Fellow mothers were up in arms, suggesting it took little effort to leave a bin bag in each room or walk them to the kitchen bin — ‘lazy’, they called it.
‘I’m a mum of four and there’s just no excuse,’ one TikToker named Brianna wrote. ‘It literally takes two seconds to throw it away’. @Sophwils944 added: ‘Not once did it ever occur to me to discard a soiled nappy on the floor.’
Hannah explained that, with her husband out of town and having been sick and injured, she was parenting alone and other things took priority.
‘My kids are fed, they’re changed, they’re happy, they’re healthy, they’re growing, they’re loved – sometimes there’s a dirty diaper on the floor,’ she said.
Parenting expert Laura Guckian, founder of Mind Mommy Life Coaching, says the backlash is a clear case of mum shaming.
‘It’s really, really sad,’ Laura tells Metro. ‘This is a perfect example of the pressure on mothers in society today, who are expected to mother in a certain way.
‘This mum is solo parenting, she has young kids and it sounds like she’s doing the best she can.
‘I would rather have a happy mum and a happy baby with dirty nappies around the house, than seeing all the nappies put into the bin the minute they become dirty, and have a mum that is completely overwhelmed.’
And, after the initial negativity towards Hannah, a new narrative seemed to emerge, with more and more women leaping to her defence.
The 17 diapers movement
Since her post, the hashtag #17diapers has been used nearly 18,000 times by other mothers revealed their ’17 diapers’ moments, offering a peak inside the realities of motherhood.
The aim is to normalise struggling to ‘do it all’ in motherhood, and praising each other just for getting by.
Mum @jessaleerivers hopped on the trend and shared how she let her child watch six films a day for three months straight because she was bed ridden with hyperemesis gravidarum – excessive nausea and vomiting in pregnancy.
Another mother, @keeeaannaa, revealed how she threw away her stained baby clothes instead of washing them, and had 12 bottles because she couldn’t be bothered to wash everything constantly.
Hannah’s original video also received an outpouring of support after the initial negative comments from other mothers who want to ‘be her village’.
@thehousethatjennbuilt commented: ‘That’s 17 times your sweet babies were prioritised over your house. It’s 17 times your sweet babies were cleaned and felt comfort and loved. Being a mum is hard. You got this mumma!’
‘Early motherhood is a train wreck of survival. The rest of her house is clean! Quit shaming and move along,’ wrote @hope_k_hunt, while another (@ww12taff) said: ‘I am your village. You are safe with me!’
Parent consultant, Dr. Beth Dawson, says it’s important to have compassion for mums.
‘Solo parenting, even for just a day, can feel like an uphill battle,’ she explains. ‘When you don’t have someone to hand over to, even for five minutes, the physical and mental load is immense.
‘Tasks that seem small, like making meals or tidying up, suddenly become monumental when you’re the only one responsible.
‘There’s no shame in needing support, whether it’s from family, friends, or professionals.
‘It’s also essential to take moments for yourself, even if it’s just five minutes to breathe and reset. You’re doing your best, and that’s enough.
‘I commend this woman for showing the reality — it can actually help other mums in similar situations feel like it’s okay not to have everything in order all the time.’
How to make parenting more manageable
For parenting expert Beth, her tips for easier parenting days include tidiness and accessibility.
Create nappy stations: ‘Have bins and changing supplies in multiple rooms to make it easier to dispose of nappies quickly, without having to trek across the house.’
Tidy as you go: ‘Rather than waiting for things to pile up, try tidying little by little throughout the day. It can feel less overwhelming that way.’
Set realistic expectations: ‘Don’t aim for perfection. On tough days, focus on the essentials and let go of the idea that everything has to be spotless or in perfect order.’
For mum life coach Laura, it’s about having set times of the day to do certain things.
Anchors: Set specific times of the day for specific jobs so they become ingrained in your routine – these times are called anchors. For example do your laundry at the same time every day, hang it up at the same time every day, and it’ll become less daunting.
Time your chores: Timing how long chores actually take will make you realise they take less time than you think, this will help move you from procrastination to action.
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