I asked my partner to plan a date night – his plans left me shocked

‘You’re never going to guess what I’ve got planned for tonight,’ my partner, Bren, told me, grinning like a Cheshire cat. 

It was July 2024, and he had been teasing me with this statement for weeks. Each time I’d hazard a guess but would get no closer to deciphering the surprise. 

I started to imagine the unthinkable: that he’d signed me up for a Tough Mudder. Or, like that poor woman on Don’t Tell the Bride, he’d booked a skydive and bungee jump before we declared our love to one another.

At the start of the year, I suggested we reinstate weekly date nights because food-shopping trips to Lidl had become our only recurring outing. Having experienced several relationships that ended due to a lack of romance, I wanted to ensure we kept the same flame burning that had been ignited on a sticky dance floor in a Soho salsa club over a year ago.

He agreed and we’ve since taken turns to plan new dating experiences – some surprises, and some mutually organised. We’ve enjoyed late-night Japanese dinners and at-home movie marathons, with highlights including a sunset picnic on a scenic clifftop and a spa night away.

‘Just something nice!’ He replied. 

‘I need specifics, babe – I’m a woman.’ Nothing fills me with more dread than missing the mark on a dress code. 

I settled on smart-casual attire to prepare for all possibilities. ‘I have no idea what you’re up to,’ I told him. 

‘Just you wait,’ he laughed with joyful abandon. ‘You’re gonna crap your daks!’ An Aussie expression that needs no translation.

We arrived at the venue; an unsuspecting pub on the outskirts of Winchester – then I saw it.

TONIGHT: THE OGRETONES. THE UK’S #1 SHREK TRIBUTE BAND.

My mouth was agape. I was as shocked as I was when I learned Pinocchio had a penchant for wearing ladies’ underwear. 

I’d never heard of a tribute band that specialised in the back catalogue of the greatest movie franchise of all time. With the amount of medicine in my system I questioned if this could all be a fever dream – I reached out to touch the poster just as a man walked past wearing protruding green ears.

Nope. This was real life.

I’ve always used Shrek as an emotional support tool. Whether sick, sad or overwhelmed by the choice of what to watch on Netflix, I’ll stick Shrek on knowing that for the next hour and a half, all of my troubles are but a distant memory. 

Perhaps it’s childhood nostalgia, the perfect casting, innuendo-laden humour – or a combination of all those things that keeps me returning for more.

My partner learned of my love for Shrek early in our relationship when we spent a weekend watching each other’s favourite films. He embraced Shrek as much as his beloved Back to the Future franchise, so he was just as excited as me to find out what tonight’s event had in store.

Drinks in hand, we took our place towards the front of the stage alongside fellow millennials who looked just as bewildered by what could be in store for us. 

But all nerves dissipated once the band made their way to the stage. 

Three method-acting Blind Mice and a Big Bad Wolf wearing grandma’s nightie took their place alongside their fellow fairytale characters to unleash Smash Mouth’s All Star. ‘This is the best night ever,’ I laughed. 

‘I can’t believe you found this!’ I said as we frolicked along to an awe-inspiring rendition of Live and Let Die.