I have amazing sex with my trans partner — testosterone makes him horny

Welcome to How I Do It, the series in which we give you a seven-day sneak peek into the sex life of a stranger.

This week he hear from Rohit* a 21-year-old bisexual student who is in a relationship with a transgender man.

Rohit has sex about three or four times a week with his boyfriend, 23, although he wouldn’t mind if his sex life was more kinky.

‘My partner’s journey from being assigned female at birth to medically and hormonally transitioning into a man over the past year has profoundly shaped our relationship and our approach to intimacy,’ he says.

‘Navigating our sex life requires a delicate balance of understanding and communication. My partner’s gender dysphoria influences our choices in the bedroom, as we prioritise his comfort and well-being above all else.’

The couple met on Tinder in May 2023, although Rohit didn’t know his partner was trans until two weeks after matching – they then began officially dating in October, after his partner’s top surgery.

‘I think he was slightly hesitant about telling me because I’m cisgender, but I reassured him that I didn’t mind, and that sexual compatibility wouldn’t be a problem as I am bisexual and am attracted to all genitalia,’ Rohit adds.

Rohit says the pair are now ‘very queer’, frequenting gay bars, watching drag race and bonding over queer culture.

‘Despite some labelling our relationship as “straight” due to my partner being assigned female at birth, our relationship is undeniably queer and extremely emancipatory for me, as someone who spent so much time hiding away my queerness and confirming to heteronormative ideals,’ says Rohit.

Rohit says it wasn’t easy for him to figure out his bisexual journey. ‘I was seen by others to be too straight to be gay – yet too gay to be straight. I didn’t fit in anywhere,’ he adds.

Despite these hurdles, the pair are incredibly happy together and their sex life is blossoming.

‘Since starting testosterone hormone therapy, my partner’s libido has soared, infusing our encounters with a newfound sense of excitement and exploration,’ Rohit explains.

‘We tend to avoid penetrative acts unless it’s a special occasion. For him, the dysphoria triggered by such acts can be overwhelming, so we prioritise alternative forms of intimacy that foster closeness without causing distress.

‘I find myself assuming a submissive role, not out of obligation, but because it brings him a sense of empowerment and fulfilment. For him, this role allows him to fully embrace his masculinity.’

Without further ado, here’s how Rohit got on this week…

The following sex diary is, as you might imagine, not safe for work.

Tuesday

Today, we are celebrating my partner’s university graduation with a getaway to a cosy Airbnb lodge. We spend the morning walking around the gorgeous countryside.

Once we get back, we make some pina coladas and sit in our hot tub to soak our aching muscles. After a day of relaxation and indulgence, we turn our attention to each other in the evening.

It’s my turn to be the centre of attention as my partner is on his period which can be a deeply dysphoric event.

It reminds him he’s assigned female at birth, so he decides to focus just on me today and in his role as a service top, he takes charge of pleasing me.

Tonight, I truly embrace my role as a pillow princess, revelling in the pleasure of receiving. We briefly consider the idea of me penetrating him anally, but given my larger penile size, we decide against it.

Wednesday

We wake up early to vacate our Airbnb, and the journey home that includes a cab ride, a train, and two sweaty bus rides. By the time we arrive back home to my flat, we are utterly drained.

We collapse into bed, too tired to do anything other than drift off to sleep. There’s no energy left for sex.

Thursday

Both of us wake up feeling incredibly horny, and we waste no time satisfying our desires with a quick blowjob.

It’s not my proudest moment as I come in about five minutes, but it does the trick.

In our comfortable pyjamas, we decide to stay indoors for the day, venturing out only for the occasional cigarette break.

In the evening, we get even more riled up, so I receive another blowjob and then some rimming, before I go to douche and he penetrates me with a strap on dildo, over the span of an hour.

We both wish his period would end soon so we can explore more intimate acts.

Friday

We wake up with a sudden craving for roast dinner, so we decide to make one, even though it’s not typical for a weekday. Our mutual friend joins us with our favourite Kylie Minogue rosé wine – very gay, I know.

After enjoying the meal, we debate whether to go to a friend’s party. Eventually, we decide to go, and it turns out to be a good, albeit rather drunken time.

After the party begins to wind down, we invite a few friends over for an after party. When everyone has left, we are both exhausted and end up collapsing in bed without any further plans for the night.

On days like this, neither of us minds forgoing sex. We recognise that drunk sex can be sloppy, and I prefer to be completely sober when we’re intimate, as that’s when I feel closest to him.

Saturday

Saturday begins with a slight hangover and grogginess, but after some breakfast and a stroll in the sunshine, we feel rejuvenated.

Upon returning home, my partner realises he has stopped his period, and he’s eager for some oral pleasure. I particularly enjoy going down on him as the effects of testosterone on his genitals intensify his orgasms.

He can now climax harder and more intensely, often experiencing multiple orgasms in succession. Additionally, testosterone has increased the size of his clitoris, exposing more nerve endings and providing a larger surface area for stimulation. I find this incredibly arousing.

Afterwards, we embrace and relax, enjoying the intimacy of the moment.

Later in the evening, we have another party to attend, but I decide to stay home.

We spend the night apart but the memories of our earlier sexual encounter linger in my mind and I find myself unable to resist the urge to masturbate.

Sunday

Another day, another slay. I take a bus to go to my partners house rather late in the evening, after spending the day deep cleaning my flat.

After the after party my kitchen was a state so I scrubbed stains and dust from all sorts of nooks and crannies.

On the bus, my mind wanders to the state of trans rights in our country. Despite the progress we’ve made, there’s still so much work to be done. But in this moment, I find myself overwhelmed with pride for my boyfriend and his journey to authenticity.

It angers me to see the misconceptions and discrimination that trans people face on a daily basis. They’re not trying to take away anyone’s rights or invade spaces – they’re simply striving to live authentically.

The idea that they’re somehow predators is not only false but deeply harmful. Whatever happened to the principle of live and let live? Where is the compassion in our society? It’s disheartening to see the lack of understanding and empathy towards a community that has already faced so much adversity.

After cooking together and an episode of the BBC’s lesbian dating show ‘I Kissed a Girl,’ we waste no time in having deeply passionate sex.

Trans people are undeniably brave, admirable, and wonderful souls. My partner’s journey serves as a poignant reminder of the strength and resilience inherent within the trans community.

Monday

My boyfriend and I find ourselves occupied with work. He has an interview scheduled for the next day, so we spend the day practising and rehearsing mock interviews.

Being on the introverted side, such preparations are particularly challenging for him. Meanwhile, I have looming writing deadlines to meet, keeping me busy throughout the day.

As evening approaches, we both acknowledge how important tomorrow is. He has a job interview for his dream graduate position, and we have plans to attend a drag show in the evening. With all of that in mind, we don’t have sex.

Come the morning I get a phone call that he’s got the job. We head to the drag show in the evening and at around midnight, we go home and have amazing sex.

I dedicate myself entirely to his pleasure. What follows is nothing short of transcendent – two hours of focused, passionate oral sex, lavishing attention on his testosterone-enlarged clitoris. He went to bed sexually satisfied, and employed. Not too bad, eh?

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