Welcome to How I Do It, the series in which we give you a seven-day sneak peek into the sex life of a stranger.
This week we hear from Georgia, a bisexual 28-year-old working as a CFO in London.
She’s married to her soulmate Ben and the couple have an open relationship. So open, in fact, that Georgia allowed her husband to sleep with her bridesmaids before their big day.
‘My sex life isn’t boring,’ says Georgia. ‘I love that I’ve found someone who I can implicitly trust and have a deep emotional connection with, without having to conform to mainstream monogamy.
‘It’s freeing and adventurous – I feel at my strongest when I’m having amazing sex.’
Georgia has sex about five times a week on average, and prides herself on being experimental and adventurous.
Without further ado, here’s how Georgia got on this week…
The following sex diary is, as you might imagine, not safe for work.
Monday
I wake up to messages from my friends Kate and Lola asking if I want to join them for dinner this evening.
They are my best friends that I’ve known for about five years now. I initially met them at a sex party where Ben and I couple swapped with Lola and her husband.
They were there with Kate, who was single at the time. Since then, we’ve clicked as a three and I even had them both as bridesmaids at my wedding.
In the same way that being in an open relationship helps you build trust with each other, I think it can be the same for friends you make in this scene too – it builds trust in the friendship.
Normally, if your friend has slept with your fiancé, they’re probably not getting an invite to the wedding, but not in our world. Both Lola and Kate regularly sleep with Ben, mainly at parties but in private too.
Sometimes I join them, but other times it’s just them. For example the night after the wedding we held our own celebratory sex party and invited all of our closest friends.
Ben had a threesome with Kate and Lola, whilst I played with other guys at the party. Afterwards Ben and I enjoyed the rest of the night alone having great sex.
I meet with the girls after work at our favourite Italian restaurant and we have a nice long catch up. Not bad for a Monday.
Tuesday
I have a long day at work today, which is usually quite draining but I don’t need to be in the office until 10am, so I get to have breakfast with Ben and we discuss a meet that I’ve arranged for us tomorrow.
We wouldn’t usually meet someone this early in the week, but I got speaking with a woman, Becky, on the adult dating section of Vivastreet last night and we really clicked.
She said she and her husband have been going to sex parties for years but were looking to start meeting people outside of the events. I’m really looking forward to it!
The rest of the day was pretty standard – we both go to work and Ben goes to the gym straight from the office at 6pm. When he gets home, I join him in the shower and things get a bit steamy as we fantasize about tomorrow night.
The thought of the meeting is usually just as hot as the meet itself, especially when it’s someone new – your imagination can run wild!
After that we have dinner and get an early night so we’re both feeling good for tomorrow.
New to open relationships?
Navigating non-monogamy can be tricky, especially if you and your partner are new at it.
While it may feel exciting that you and your significant other have agreed that you want to start along this new path, it can also be pretty intimidating, and the stakes are high.
As Counselling Directory member Alex Sanderson-Shortt tells Metro.co.uk: ‘Communication is key.
‘It’s important to both be honest that they probably won’t know what the boundaries are yet! It’s likely there will be “hard” limits – things that are absolute no-nos.
‘For example, one rule could be never to have people round at the house, people they both know etc. But beyond that it’s often about seeing what feels okay and what doesn’t as each situation arises.
‘Rules are important – it’s possible to still “cheat” in an open relationship if a boundary is broken. And being able to honestly say it doesn’t feel right, even if you can’t fully explain why.
‘It’s worth noting that, in non-monogamous relationships, jealousy is often still an issue. Being able to acknowledge this and be able to work it through together is essential.’
Read more expert advice on open relationships here.
Wednesday
Before the meet, I have another busy day of work to get through. I don’t really get a minute to think about it until I’ve finished at 6pm.
It’s been a stressful day but what better way to destress than a threesome? We meet at a bar in London for a quick drink beforehand, to get acquainted and make sure we’re all on the same wavelength.
Becky is really lovely and seems very genuine. I can tell Ben is really attracted to her, and I am too, so it’s going to be a good night.
Before being in an open relationship I had always been in traditionally monogamous, heterosexual relationships. I’d never been with a woman sexually, or thought about it for that matter.
However, after just a few months together, Ben and I would often talk about having a threesome. We decided to dip our toe in the water and went to our first sex party. That was sex years ago, and I quickly realised I’m bi-sexual.
We go with Becky to a hotel and get down to it. We are always conscious that we want to make the new person feel comfortable with us and that everyone feels included.
We had a lot of fun, and Ben says he would be really keen to meet her again, so we’ll definitely stay in touch.
Thursday
I had such a good time last night, so I send Ben a message to let him know I’m still thinking about it. This leads to an exchange of a few naughty messages whilst sitting at my desk.
It’s my favourite thing to do – getting him excited at work, knowing we can’t see each other until the evening and letting tension build up all afternoon.
It’s usually me that makes the first move, which always surprises people when I tell them. I think a lot of people assume that it’s always the man pushing for an open relationship, but this couldn’t be further from the truth.
There are no trust issues or jealousy with Ben. Yes, we both have sex with other people, but to us, that’s just fun. It’s basically a side hobby we enjoy together.
I don’t end up getting away from the office until quite late so I just grab dinner for the train home and go straight to bed when I get back.
Friday
Finally the end of the working week. Things have been really stressful at work at the moment so I’m ready to let off some steam this weekend.
Friday is always date night for Ben and I. It’s our time to connect, catch up on the week, discuss how we’re feeling and prepare for the weekend ahead.
Tonight we make pizzas together, followed by the latest episode of Bridgerton. No sex is on the cards tonight – we just go straight to bed and have a cuddle.
Saturday
Saturday is sex party day! We bought tickets over three months ago for this event and have been really looking forward to it. There’s always a little feeling of nervous excitement beforehand, wondering how it’s going to go and who will be there.
With these particular parties there’s a strict vetting process you need to go through beforehand, to make sure you meet their standards and are trustworthy. We don’t tend to go to any parties that don’t do this.
A few of our friends, including Lola and Kate, come over to our house during the day to get ready and start the party early. We love all getting ready together – there’s a mixed feeling of giddy excitement and sexual tension.
I am feeling the vibes from Lola’s husband Gavin tonight, as we’re having a laugh and a bit of a flirt as I get my makeup on. We’ve played together a lot over the past few years – I feel really comfortable with him.
We get to the venue at around 7:30pm, ready for a sit down meal. I don’t eat too much at these kinds of events as I don’t want to feel full and lethargic, but a meal is always a great way to settle into the night.
After the meal we move to the club room, and people start to play together. I don’t usually jump in straight away as I like things to happen naturally so I just have a dance with the girls and enjoy the music.
After a while things get quite intense and Ben is kissing Lola while I’m with Gavin. Ben and I always make sure to check in with each other before we go and play with other people.
Although we have done this 100s of times before, every night can be different and it’s respectful to just check we’re both feeling okay and comfortable. This is where communication is so vital.
Gavin and I go to one of the playrooms and have the most incredible sex. We are really in sync tonight, he usually takes a more dominant role and I love that. We are in there for about an hour and a half having fun, before returning to the group for the rest of the evening.
I can’t wait to tell Ben about it and hear what he’s been up to.
Sunday
Ben and I wake up at the same time with banging headaches, but shoot each other a look as if to say: ‘that was a good night wasn’t it?’. I get up and make everyone some breakfast and we all sit around recapping the night together.
Once our friends leave, Ben and I waste no time with all the juicy details from our escapades. He loves it when I describe everything about it and what I loved.
We soon get each other hot and bothered again and end up having amazing reclaim sex. It where you have sex with the intention of reclaiming a sense of connection, intimacy or ownership with your partner, after they’ve had sexual relations with someone else.
I often think the day after is even better than the night before – he loves showing me that he’s better than anyone else I’ve been with.
We both chill for the rest of the day and get our energy back, ready for an early night before the busy week ahead.
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