Jess Irwin, the widow of Channel 4 star Jonnie Irwin has revealed how she is still struggling following the tragic death of her husband earlier this year.
The Escape to the Sun host died aged 50 in February, two years after being diagnosed with an aggressive form of lung cancer.
He left behind his wife, Jess, aged 41, and their three children – Rex, four, and twins Rafa and Cormac.
Three months after the star’s death, his widow has revealed her profound distress over the family’s terrible ordeal.
‘You hear people say “he passed away peacefully. It was lovely.” But it wasn’t for Jonnie,’ she revealed.
‘It was a f****** awful process. I wish I hadn’t seen it but I had to be with him.’
In an interview with MailOnline, Jess spoke of her husband’s final moments: ‘It is just heartbreaking to see someone you love so much in that state, but he was surrounded by love and in our home, as he wanted, not in a hospice.’
She continued: ‘I hated every second lying next to my dying husband. I cuddled him, but he was in a lot of pain. I was constantly moving him, administering drugs.
‘I still struggle with what he went through. I can’t imagine what it is to know your time is up and you’re hearing the noise of your three sons kicking a football in the drive; you can smell food cooking downstairs,’ she said.
Speaking of the moment she told the children about their dad’s death, she revealed how she had kept them ‘blissfully unaware’ of his cancer struggle, telling them ‘angels had taken him to heaven’ once he died.
Irwin died at home in Newcastle, with Jess at his side. Jess revealed how Irwin had received around 30 visitors during this time, coming to say their goodbyes.
Elsewhere in the interview, she revealed that while he ‘didn’t want to go’ nor did he ever complain.
Irwin and Jess married in 2016 after meeting through mutual friends. The pair learned about his cancer in 2020, only months before the birth of Rafa and Cormac.
Irwin was initially given only six months to live, but managed to survive for almost three years – changing his diet and dedicating himself to his health in an effort to hold out as long as possible.
In an earlier interview with Hello, Jess spoke of how she keeps her husband alive in conversation with their sons.
‘Jonnie is present in so many of our chats. Rex will say: “Would daddy like to watch this? or: “Was this daddy’s favourite chocolate?” He wants to include him, whereas with the twins it’s more: “I want Daddy to come back,” and I say: “Yes, I do, too.”
Irwin kept quiet about his diagnosis until November 2022, when he explained how he had been given ‘months to live.’
At the time, he revealed: ‘I don’t know how long I have left, but I stay positive and my attitude is that I’m living with cancer, not dying from it.’
Jess confirmed the heartbreaking news of his death via a post to his Instagram page on February 2.
‘It is with heavy hearts that we share the news of Jonnie’s passing. A truly remarkable soul, he fought bravely against cancer with unwavering strength and courage. Jonnie touched the lives of so many with his kindness, warmth, and infectious spirit.’
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