My long distance love is visiting — we finally got to have cosplay sex

Welcome to How I Do It, the series in which we give you a seven-day sneak peek into the sex life of a stranger.

This week we hear from Daisy* a 37-year-old writer, who is in a (very) long-distance relationship. She lives in London while her partner lives in Oregon, USA.

The pair met at a Cosplay convention where they were dressed as a War Boy from Fury Road and Bayonetta (a Japanese video game character), and they hit it off right away.

The pair have since been together for nearly three years and have been long distance since 2022.

They’ve spent a total of one week together in the past eight months, but now they’re set to be reunited for another week.

Daisy, who is a bisexual woman, has learnt to be comfortable communicating her thoughts on sex with her partner, and the pair definitely have to be creative when separated by so many miles.

‘We have to think outside the box with videos, audio clips and letters to keep an active sex life together,’ she says.

‘Being long distance is tough but thanks to messenger and Instagram we’re in touch every day in some way.’

After so long apart, the two of them are excited to getadventurous and even experiment with role play.

Without further ado, here’s how Daisy got on this week…

The following sex diary is, as you might imagine, not safe for work.

Monday

You know you’re in a long distance relationship when you can rank London airports by sexiness.

London City is the more glamourous one, Heathrow has a view-blocking pillar in arrivals so my ‘rushing into each others arms’ daydream often gets ruined. We miss each other and by the time I text to ask where he is, he’s already outside WHSmith with smoky bacon crisps.

There is absolutely nothing sexy about Luton Airport. Today though, I spend half the morning in Gatwick, as his flight is delayed, but it gives me time to put on a full face of makeup and chew gum. When you haven’t seen each other for months, it feels like preparing for a first date all over again.

After he arrives, on the train we try not to be the kind of couple who are practically having sex on the seats – but we can’t get close enough to each other.

We get straight into the shower where we have sex against the wall. I’m a water baby and love being in water or swimming, especially when there’s sex involved.

We don’t exactly last that long, and after we’ve dried off we fall straight into bed to keep going. There’s no foreplay, toys, or much changing positions – it’s always like this when we see each other after time apart. We have to get the initial ‘OMG F**K ME NOW’ urgency out of our systems!

Tuesday

I don’t like morning sex much. I feel dry in the morning and hate morning breath. But he’s an early bird so I know as soon as he wakes up, he’s going to be all affectionate and want to have sex.

I haven’t slept well, it’s hard to adjust to a whole other person in your bed, so I take the opportunity to go and brush my teeth while he’s still fast asleep.

I love that he does the same for me when he wakes up, and appreciate that he also understands it takes me longer to get turned on when I’ve just woken up.

We begin to have sex and if I had more naughty dreams, being turned on would be so much easier.

But last night’s dream involved being cast in the Wicked movie and the ‘Popular’ song gets stuck in my head right in the middle of him fingering me. Very inconvenient!

I tell him why I’ve just burst out laughing and know it’s going to become an ‘us’ in-joke! We take a second to laugh and soon get back into sex.

Finally things start getting lubricated, and we have sex with me on top so I can control the pace. We spend most of the day either in bed or on the sofa eating and talking about life.

It’s nice to be able to hold hands at the same time. We finally start to wear ourselves out from talking and sex, and start falling asleep on the sofa together.

Wednesday

My boyfriend loves London but always wants to visit places that no Londoner would ever go to. I talk him out of heading to Leadenhall market during the after work rush hour and instead we go for a walk in the afternoon sun in one of the parks outside the city.

There’s a lot of teenage-style making-out, which makes our walk feel more romantic than sexy, and I find I’m okay with that. Especially when he insists on buying us both ice creams on the way back.

We get home and it’s time to make dinner. Our thing is music, so he starts making a playlist to cook to. I’d picked things up for a paella recipe, so that’s what we make.

It’s been almost a whole day since we had sex and after dinner, we don’t make it to bed right away, as we start touching each other on the sofa, and he gets on his knees before I even need to say anything.

I get to lie back as he goes down on me in the living room, before having doggy style sex over the arm of the sofa.

Thursday

Though we’re both cosplayers, we’ve never had sex in costume until today!

Honestly, I find the cliché ‘sexy maid’ type outfits to be a bit cringe and forced, but I’m always up for trying new things and I’ve never had sex in any of my convention costumes.

They usually take so long to put on that the thought of ripping them off is a hell no.

But we’d mentioned it might be fun after he video called me from a group cosplay photoshoot in his town. We have a few Street Fighter character outfits between us and I’d mentioned that if he wanted to bring one, I’d return the favour.

One of the things I love is that he doesn’t mind that I’m not dainty or delicate. I don’t do dresses. I’d picked Cammy as my character- she’s military inspired but wears a leotard that is easy to undo or pull to one side.

We decide to surprise each other with which characters we chose, so we rush off to get changed. So after about ten minutes, Vega walks into my room. If you don’t know Street Fighter, Vega is a blonde pretty-boy with an evil side and a mask, and wields claws similar to Wolverine.

I was worried it might get awkward, but as we aren’t pretending to be the actual characters, we’re just having sex with someone we’re already attracted to who looks like the characters, and that feels fine.

Although, I think we both get inspired by Street Fighter, because things get rough in a very good way!

Friday

I have a vibrator that uses an app, which must have been invented especially for people in long distance relationships! You and your partner both sign up, and your partner can control the vibrator settings from wherever they are.

We’ve called each other through messenger, then used the app many times, which is a lot of fun especially as my partner can be a hell of a tease!

We try the same thing today but it’s not as fun when you’re in the same room and can actually touch each other! We abandon the app and just use the vibrator while I go down on him.

We have now visited each other’s countries twice, including this visit. The first time he flew to see me was in the middle of a monstrous heatwave.

Last time, even my ceiling fan wasn’t enough to cool the two of us, and sex was mostly a no-go. ‘I’m fucking you in my mind’ became the joke of the week. We’ve been lucky this time, and actually get to sleep under a duvet together!

Saturday

After a day visiting my friend, we we stop at the off-license on the way home for junk food.

The visit is coming to an end and we check in with our future plans. We don’t know where we want to settle eventually but we’re open to either of our countries or somewhere else entirely.

We aren’t in any rush – what we have right now works. Children – if we don’t have a firm ‘yes’ from us both by the time we’re 39 (we’re the same age) then it’s a ‘no’.

We’re on the same page about needing to be on the same page We know all this already as we’ve talked about our future many times before, but it’s good to go over the major stuff.

There’s no sex today – just food comas, a cosy Umbrella Academy marathon and a lot of cuddles.

Sunday

We’ve scheduled our next couple of visits so we know when we’re going to see each other again, but it’s never easy saying goodbye.

We aren’t separating for another two days – his flight leaves on Monday evening – but neither of us want to get out of bed, so we can pretend it’s earlier than it is.

Most of the time, sex together is fun, adventurous and sometimes kinky, but occasionally, like now, it’s emotional. I lose track of the amount of times we say the words ‘I love you’.

He’s on top, and we stay like that, even after he’s come and I have a very rare G-spot orgasm. We finally get up when we’re too hot to stay in bed, but most of the day we’re more affectionate than usual.

Where we’d usually hold hands, now we have our arms around each other. We’d usually sit opposite each other in the armchairs when we go out for coffee. Now, we sit next to each other on the sofa.

It’s hot, we aren’t out in town for long and we come home to hang out in the garden with iced drinks.

It’s in the garden we begin to get kinky. By the time I’m getting him to lick the melting ice from me, we take things inside and onto a towel in the living room as it’s the cooler room in the house.

No word of a lie, sex with ice is a great way to keep cool!

Weeks like this make the time apart worth it, until the day we decide we need to live together.

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