The secrets about your star sign no astrologer will tell you

When I was 10 years old, I nicked my sister’s Linda Goodman’s ‘Sun Signs’ book (the bible for many astrologers) and read it cover to cover.

I felt like I had entered a secret society offering sacred insider info about people’s personalities and traits.

Ever since then, I have watched people and contrasted their behaviour vs their star sign. My toxic trait is that I will find out your sign within two minutes of meeting you, and then compare you to it ever after!

What I have noticed is that there are common traits to each sign that no astrologer ever mentions – in fact, they often say the opposite. Maybe it’s me, or maybe you agree with the uncomfortable truths I’ve observed…

Aries

March 21 to April 20

The secret about Aries signs: They obsess over what you really think of them

Aries folk are, deep deep down, very insecure. They might come across as ‘Rip Van Cocky’ but, underneath, they are worried you don’t like them, aren’t attracted to them, don’t rate their skills, disrespect their status, and generally don’t ‘get’ how great they are.

The ‘noise’ is an act.

The secret about Taurus signs: Their stubbornness is actually smarts

Everyone knows the zodiac’s bulls are stubborn, but I don’t think it is stubbornness. I think they are super clever (I always go to a Taurean when I want a solid take on something) but it just takes so long for them to make up their mind as they consider everything.

They deliberate at Olympic levels. But the end result is golden, and that is why they don’t change their mind easily.

The secret about Gemini signs: They’re as loyal as they come

Not fickle, not two-faced, not flirty cheater types. Actually, very very loyal. A Gemini friend or partner or family member or colleague automatically has your back, all day long.

They will fight fiercely for those they love. And you can enjoy that loyalty forever, so long as you don’t piss them off. If you do backstab a Gemini, then you will be dealt with by the ‘other twin’… who ain’t so kind and sweet.

The secret about Cancer signs: They’re goofy clowns at heart

People paint Cancerians as emotional, moody, passionate, intense, jealous etc… a bit scary if I am honest. Yet, the ones I tend to meet are actually very funny people and love nothing more than laughing and making others laugh. Their humour is top notch.

They particularly excel at doing impressions as they’re such perceptive people-watchers, and because of their vast, deep intuition they always get the observation spot on!

The secret about Leo signs: They’re actually very quiet

Can someone show me the way to all these regal, bolshy, loud Leos? All the Leo folk I know are quiet, modest and shy people. I detect an undertone of confidence and pride, for sure, but no more than any other sign.

One thing I will agree on with the Leo folk, though, is that they do all have great hair.

The secret about Virgo signs: They use helpfulness to control

Virgos know best – check. Virgos are smart – check. Virgos are helpful – check. Virgos are best left to do it for you, for those reasons – mmmm. Not check!

Virgos’ helpfulness is, I think, at heart, about control, about keeping you in your place and knowing what is going on at all times (because they’re doing it). Hand over too much control and you will get trapped in that dynamic (which, secretly they end up resenting). Don’t let them take over!

The secret about Libra signs: They’re the most biased sign

The secret about Scorpio signs: They’re pretty laidback

I feel I need more evidence here as I don’t know many Scorpios, but what I have noticed, among the few I know, is that they are usually very laidback and easygoing.

I have almost been disappointed by them! I was expecting to meet Sauron, the dark lord, and instead got more of a Bilbo Baggins type. Where are the dark destroyer Scorpios at?

The secret about Sagittarius signs: They’re usually bang on

Sag is painted as a bit of a clown, a loud mouth, a no-filter speaker. That is true, but what is overlooked is that they hit the nail on the head, nearly every time!

Taurus has a similar trait, but it takes them months of deliberation to create, hone, and refine their opinions whereas Sagittarius just sees it and says it. And it’s bang on.

The secret about Capricorn signs: They’re the zodiac’s best comedian

I love Caps. And I get that they’re hardworking and materialistic but, major secret fact, they are also very, very funny people. Caps have a super dry take on the world.

Caps are shrewd and worldly, there are no flies on them, and if you like very dark and wry humour then cosy up to a Capricorn and get them to trust you (difficult) so they’ll open up and show you their inner comedian.

The secret trait Aquarius signs share: They’re massively competitive

While Aquarians are painted as very chill, very humanitarian and progressive, thinking big thoughts always, the water bearers I have met have all been very sporty, outdoorsy, hugely competitive folk. To a T.

That’s not to say they’re not the other things too, but the searing hot competitiveness is never mentioned. And I see it every damn time.

The secret trait Pisces signs share: They’re mean, unless you’re in their clique

Pisceans are the zodiac’s nicest sign, apparently. However, truthfully, the ones I know are actually quite cold people! It’s true! Unless you’re in their inner ‘inner circle’ that is (and there’s more than one ‘inner’).