Breastfeeding isn’t just for babies. A number of adults enjoy it too – but not for the same reason.
Recently, a woman on Reddit shared her worry over telling her partner about her newly-realised kink, writing: ‘I find lactation to be hot, but I’m insecure about it because I find it weird myself.’
While the couple have never discussed it outright and don’t plan on having children, her boyfriend ‘jokes about drinking [her] milk’, leading her to question whether he shares her fantasies.
But despite comments saying the woman’s boyfriend was clearly ‘dropping hints’, she’s ‘scared to tell him’ about her desires since she’s ‘not entirely comfortable’ with them.
As it turns out, becoming aroused at the idea or act of breastfeeding isn’t completely unheard of.
The practice of erotic lactation has been alluded to throughout history, and in 1903, German philosopher Carl Buttenstedt claimed breastfeeding could help married couples deepen their sexual bond.
More recently, a bar in Tokyo’s red-light district was reported to sell breast milk to customers – either in a glass or direct from the nipple – while online communities dedicated to the fetish have hundreds of thousands of members.
According to Annabelle Knight, sex and relationships Expert at Lovehoney, common fantasies ‘include role-playing scenarios where one partner assumes the role of a nursing mother while the other takes on the role of the baby.’
Others may enjoy suckling themselves or watching porn showing lactating women, though the fetish is usually acted out ‘through consensual role-play, using props such as lactation-themed lingerie or adult breastfeeding equipment.’
Psychologically, there are a number of factors that may influence an interest in erotic lactation.
Annabelle tells Metro.co.uk: ‘There are theories that suggest that the motherly and nurturing aspect of breastfeeding can evoke feelings of intimacy and trust, which can possibly add to its appeal in a sexual setting.
‘Societal taboos surrounding breastfeeding and the taboo nature of the fetish itself can also play a role in making it seem more exciting.’
Very little research has been done on the prevalence of the kink, but a 2005 survey by The Sunday Times found that 25% to 33% of married men had suckled their wife’s breasts.
‘People of all genders, sexual orientations, and backgrounds may have this fetish,’ says Annabelle. ‘However, people who have a fascination with nurturing behaviours or maternal attributes may be more inclined to explore this fantasy.’
Due to its association with babies and pregnancy, it can be a source of shame.
Yet Joel and his wife, who enjoy erotic lactation, insist it’s ‘not an adult nursing or infantile pretence.’
Speaking to Metro.co.uk, he added: ‘I have no doubt that certain fetishes have a psychological trigger. This one though, for me personally, was just an intensely personal, sexually pleasurable and highly erotic act.’
How to speak to a partner about a lactation fetish
If you have an interest in exploring erotic lactation with your partner but aren’t sure how to bring it up, Annabelle highlights that ‘honesty, and sensitivity are essential on both sides of the conversation.’
She advises: ‘Choose a private and comfortable setting to broach the topic, and approach it with openness and non-judgment. Start by expressing your feelings and desires and you can gauge how your partner responds.
‘Be prepared to answer questions and address any concerns your partner may have. Remember that communication is key in any relationship, especially when exploring your different sexual interests.’
It’s just as important to be sensitive to your partner if they tell you they’re aroused by breastfeeding. After all, they may have been nervous to share this with you, and it’s perfectly normal (providing all parties involved are consenting adults and the activities don’t lead to distress or harm).
‘Ask questions to gain clarity and express your own thoughts and boundaries honestly,’ says Annabelle. ‘If you’re uncomfortable or uncertain about fulfilling your partner’s fantasies, I’d suggest communicating openly and exploring compromises or alternatives together.’
You may be wondering how it’s possible to indulge in this fetish outside of a specific time window, after a woman has a baby. Once a baby is weaned, some people can continue to produce milk if their breasts are continually stimulated.
Some also try to induce lactation with massage or even milk-inducing drugs, but Annabelle recommends other ‘safe and consensual’ methods over potentially dangerous medications.
‘Role-playing scenarios, using lactation-themed props or costumes, and incorporating lactation-themed erotica or media can help satisfy this kink,’ she says.
‘Most of all, it’s important to communicate openly with your partner about your boundaries and desires. And of course, as with any fetish or kink, practicing safe consensual sex is paramount.’
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