Deep in concentration, I took a breath as I leant forward for a pilates position – an inflatable ball in one hand while stretching one leg out behind me.
Then out of the corner of my eye, I noticed three boys – barely teenagers – through the glass window of the yoga studio. Giggling, they mockingly copied the movements.
I suddenly made eye contact with one of them and his face got deathly serious as he stared me down, before flipping me the bird.
I immediately burst out laughing, then shrieked: ‘A kid just stuck his middle finger up at me!’
The rest of the class erupted into giggles while the bewildered instructor tried to get the lesson back on track. I was in the middle of a yogalates (a portmanteau of yoga and pilates) class in May at the Elissa Resort in Rhodes, Greece.
We were actually supposed to have the session outside during sunset, but it was a little too windy so we found ourselves at the gym in Elissa’s sister resort, Ella –located just next door. While Elissa is an adults-only resort, Ella is not.
This showdown isn’t exactly what I was expecting during my four-day stay at the luxurious five-star accommodation – especially knowing I was writing a piece about the joys of child-free travel – but I found the whole thing hilarious.
Thankfully, I didn’t run into my new pint-sized arch-nemesis again.
Before I even arrived at the hotel, a toddler two rows in front of me on the EasyJet plane was banging her head against her seat, there was a screaming baby a few rows behind, and a child in the row opposite was playing a Nintendo Switch loudly without headphones.
But as soon as the coach pulled up outside the resort and I walked into the tranquil reception to the offer of a cool towel and welcome cocktail, this distant ringing in my ears became a faint memory.
Located on the north-east coast of Rhodes, Elissa boasts 15 pools, four restaurants and 332 rooms, suites and waterfront bungalows.
I was staying in an Open Plan Suite with Sea View and Sharing Pool (with eight other rooms). Though there are rooms with private pool access, too.
My room (starting at £272 per night) had a large walk-in shower and double sink, with a king-sized bed, two TVs – one at the foot of the bed and one in the living room – and a balcony.
The latter was perfect to enjoy what became a fast favourite cocktail throughout my four-day stay: Cantaloupe spritz (think Aperol spritz but with Midori instead).
The alcohol didn’t stop there. Along with a sommelier on offer during dinner each night, guests of the resort can book a cellar wine tasting (from £60) at Kelari to try a selection of both local and international wines.
Best things to do in Rhodes, Greece
Best dish: Steamed mussels with Nduja butter and charcoal toasted bread (Kavos)
Best beach: Lindos Beach
Best attraction: The Old Town of Rhodes
I’m certainly no expert but I liked the CAIR Brut crisp and light Greek sparkling dry white wine.
If you’re in the mood for seafood, Kavos – the resort’s restaurant led by Michelin-starred chef Alexandros Tsiotinis – hits the spot. The steamed mussels with Nduja butter (€16, £13.50) were the best and freshest I have ever tasted, with a gorgeous sausage-infused sauce.
If sushi is more your thing, Masari does mouth-watering tuna, shrimp and salmon rolls, paired with cocktails that pack a punch, like the ‘Asian roots’ (gin, yuzu, apple syrup, ginger and lime) or ‘red dragon’ (vodka, strawberry puree, ginger and lime).
The tastiest treat of all? All of Elissa’s restaurants are – you guessed it – child-free.
For authentic-style Greek dishes, look no further than Rhodes Cooking Class (rhodescookingclass.com), which is located about an hour from the resort in the town of Archangelos (€90 (£76), or €120 (£102) with hotel pick-up).
There’s nothing like making your own dolmades (stuffed vine leaves) while sipping white wine before having a full Greek feast for lunch under the Mediterranean sun.
Once properly refuelled, explore the Old Town of Rhodes, including 2.4 miles of medieval walls, Byzantine churches and fountains. This is also where you can pick up souvenirs, like jewellery, leather goods, soap (I may or may not have bought a kitsch penis-shaped one) or the tastiest local delicacy of them all, honey.
For a proper coastal view of Rhodes, I enjoyed a four-hour private cruise with Rhodes Sailing Tours (€360, £306 for four hours: rhodessailingtours.com), which included wine and delicious seafood hors d’oeuvres.
You can even organise private customised wedding proposals during sunset, which I’m told is very popular.
After a long day of exploring, I booked a spa treatment (a full body scrub with a massage) to relax and unwind, before laying by the indoor heated pool with a glass of cucumber water in hand.
At one point during my stay, I had a moment where I was listening to a cellist serenely play Shania Twain’s You’re Still the One while I was eating a Greek breakfast by the pool, when I suddenly thought: Isn’t this bliss?
There were no screaming kids running around with inflatables, or babies in highchairs throwing food to the ground.
If this sounds like your idea of heaven too, Elissa Resort is just one click away.
James stayed in a Junior Suite at Elissa Adults-Only Lifestyle Beach Resort, where rooms start at £165 per night on a B&B-board basis. Flights from London Gatwick to Rhodes start at £75 round trip with EasyJet.
Do you have a story to share?
Get in touch by emailing [email protected].
MORE : 80 years on, questions still remain about how Anne Frank was discovered
MORE : The UK town that ‘oozes class’ and has a beach that’s like ‘heaven on Earth’
MORE : This is the ‘most beautiful’ café in the world — but there’s one issue
Get need-to-know travel news, inspiration and advice from Metro every week.
Sign up here…
This site is protected by reCAPTCHA and the Google Privacy Policy and Terms of Service apply.