Summary
- “Taylor Swift’s “Tolerate It” is a powerful ballad that tells the story of a one-sided relationship where one partner undervalues the other.
- The inspiration for “Tolerate It” comes from Daphne Du Maurier’s book “Rebecca,” which tells the story of a woman who marries a wealthy widower, only to discover that both he and his house are haunted by the memory of his late first wife, Rebecca.
- There has been speculation that “Tolerate It” could be about one of Swift’s famous exes.
“Tolerate It” is one of Taylor Swift‘s most beloved songs, and the lyrics have important meanings that stem from an 86-year-old book. The singer-songwriter has been a household name since 2006 and her stardom has only continued to rise. Best known for her powerful lyrics that beautifully capture love stories gone wrong and exemplify her storytelling skills, Swift continues to be one of the most well-known and accomplished women in music of all time. Taylor Swift’s 11-album catalog is celebrated through The Eras Tour, which walks listeners through her musical past and present and further proves her undeniable talent.
That tour has now been captured in three different forms: October 2023’s theatrical release, December 2023’s VOD release, and March 2024’s Disney+ streaming release. Each release has provided audiences with the opportunity to experience Swift’s performance skills in a new way and opens the door for listeners to become more in tune with the meanings behind some of Swift’s most iconic songs from The Eras Tour. One song, in particular, that continues to be analyzed and talked about in great detail is Evermore’s “Tolerate It,” which tells an important story about love unrequited.
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“Tolerate It” Is About A Couple Where One Partner Undervalues The Other
The Song’s Narrator Longs To Be Appreciated
Taylor Swift’s “Tolerate It” tells the story of a relationship where one partner is undervaluing the other.
It is written from the perspective of a woman who is in a one-sided relationship with a man who does not appreciate her or her efforts. Throughout the song, Swift uses clear examples to show how she has been neglected in the relationship. For instance, she explains that she waited by the door for him just like a little kid, she used the best colors to paint his portrait and set the table with the fanciest of things only for him to tolerate her.
What makes the song more heartbreaking is when Swift highlights how much love and admiration she has for the man. She pours herself into him, but he fails to reciprocate it. This is evident through lines like “I made you my temple, my mural, my sky. Now I’m begging for footnotes in the story of your life“. The narrator deeply cares about the man, whereas the man is ambivalent towards her. There is also a clear age difference between the couple, which can be seen in lines that reference how much older and wiser the man is than Swift.
“Tolerate It” Was Inspired By Daphne Du Maurier’s Book Rebecca
Rebecca Was Published In 1938
In an interview with Apple Music in 2020, Taylor Swift confirmed the inspiration for “Tolerate It”. She shared that she was moved to write the song while she was reading the book “Rebecca” by Daphne Du Maurier. The Gothic novel was released in 1938 and is about a woman who marries a wealthy widower, only to discover that both he and his house are haunted by the memory of his late first wife, Rebecca. The woman is left feeling constantly overshadowed by her husband’s deceased and, seemingly perfect, first wife.
There was a part of her that could relate to the unnamed woman because she had felt herself trying to love someone who was ambivalent towards her in the past.
In the interview, Swift explained that she was surprised while reading “Rebecca” to see how the husband simply tolerated his new wife. She was doing everything she could to try to impress him, while he was simply tolerating her presence. She shared that there was a part of her that could relate to the unnamed woman because she had felt herself trying to love someone who was ambivalent towards her in the past.
Who Is “Tolerate It” About?
Taylor Swift Fans Think It’s About Jake Gyllenhaal Or Prince Charles & Princess Diana
“Tolerate It” has long been subject to in-depth analysis of who the song could be about. There has been speculation that it could be about her famous ex-boyfriend, Jake Gyllenhaal. Because the song is about a woman who is so much younger than her partner and feels insecure in herself because of it, some listeners feel that it parallels Swift’s relationship with Gyllenhaal, which had a 9-year age gap.
Gyllenhaal is not the only person that the song has been speculated to be about. Some listeners have also connected the lyrics to Prince Charles and Princess Diana’s story. This theory is based on the fact that Swift shared with EW that Folklore was inspired by the content she consumed during the COVID quarantine. Swift also confirmed that she had watched The Crown, so it is possible that the show’s themes influenced “Tolerate It”.
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This could be a nod to Charles’ infamous cheating, which Diana may have tried to overlook during their relationship.
Because Swift had shared that she has pulled from her entertainment interests in the past and confirmed that she had watched The Crown, many put two and two together and concluded that the show could have influenced “Tolerate It”‘s lyrics. The age difference piece of the song lines up with Prince Charles and Princess Diana, as there was a 12-year age gap between the two.
Swift also references overlooked infidelity in “Tolerate It”, through lines like “I take your indiscretions all in good fun“. This could be a nod to Charles’ infamous cheating, which Diana may have tried to overlook during their relationship.
What Taylor Swift Has Said About The Meaning Of “Tolerate It”
In the aforementioned Apple Music interview, Swift further shared about the meaning of “Tolerate It”. She explained that the perspective she was writing from a partner who feels like their partner really isn’t there. She further breaks down that it’s like a couple sitting down for breakfast, but they’re just sitting next to each other. They’re not “there” or fully present with one another because one party is checked out and ambivalent toward the other.
Swift’s explanation of the couple sitting down to a meal without really being together is one fans will be familiar with. It’s the same setup she used to perform the song on stage for her Eras Tour. While Swift performed the song, one of her dancers played the part of the man in the song.
Who Plays The Man In “Tolerate It” In The Taylor Swift: The Eras Tour Movie Performance
Raphael Thomas Is One Of Swift’s Tour Dancers
Taylor Swift manages to bring her songs to life throughout her concerts, and “Tolerate It” is no exception. She does an excellent job at telling the story of the song through the choreography and sets, providing listeners with a deeper understanding of the meaning of the song. During the concert, Swift is shown carefully setting the table and making sure everything is just right. A male figure then enters on stage and sits down, without paying attention to all of the effort that was just put into setting things up.
Swift then goes on to sing the lyrics to “Tolerate It”, with the man clearly disengaged on the other side of the table. In the Taylor Swift: The Eras Tour movie performance, this man is played by Raphael Thomas. Thomas is no stranger to the entertainment industry and has been in a number of big-name projects. These include 2023’s The Color Purple, 2019’s Homecoming: A Film By Beyoncé, and 2002’s Kudzu Christmas.
Following the release of Swift’s album The Tortured Poet’s Department, “Tolerate It” is one of the performances cut from the Eras Tour set list. Several songs were cut to make room for songs from the new album. Thomas might not be playing the man in “Tolerate It” with the new set list, but he is still one of Swift’s dancers.
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“Tolerate It” Might Be Taylor Swift’s Saddest Song
It Is Routinely Mentioned In Discussions Of Her Sad Songs
Discussions about Taylor Swift’s saddest songs by fans and critics alike typically include the same handful of tracks. A song about regret like “Back To December” and a song about a failed relationship like “All Too Well” are typically on the list. So are tracks like “Last Kiss,” lamenting not knowing a relationship was ending, and “Soon You’ll Get Better” about watching someone with an illness suffering. While fans will cite how emotional each of these songs can make them, they also tend to rank “Tolerate It” with them.
It’s the ambivalence that does it for most Taylor Swift fans. After all, so many of Swift’s songs are about passionate relationships that ignite or ones where the flame has fizzled out. “Tolerate It” is, instead, about a relationship that exists, but is so unhappy the narrator can’t help but cry out for more. It’s heartbreaking.
Of course, Swift herself might have a different opinion on what her saddest song really is. When releasing Speak Now (Taylor’s Version), she released a prologue to explain her thoughts on the original recording and the new recording. She called “Last Kiss” her saddest song then, though after the release of many more songs, including the album The Tortured Poets Department, Taylor Swift might have a different feeling these days.
Sources: Apple Music, EW, Speak Now (Taylor’s Version)
Taylor Swift: The Eras Tour
Taylor Swift: The Eras Tour is a film rendition of the colossal worldwide event that sees the legendary pop star hit the stage in a specially curated film event. Performing the hits of her over seventeen-year career in music, The Eras Tour highlights Taylor Swift and her team as they put on a show of a lifetime.